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DENTAL JOKES
Tooth Pain
A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband
said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain
because I'm in a terrible rush. Just pull the tooth as quickly
as possible." "You're a brave man," said the
dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."
The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth
and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear." .
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What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have
a VD? Having your dentist tell you.
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A friend of mine went to the dentist recently. He commented
that it must be tough spending all day with your hands in
someone's mouth. He said, "I just think of it as having
my hands in their wallet."
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Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: $90.00.
Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I
can extract it very slowly if you like.
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DENTIST is the most suitable male profession - the only man
that can tell a
woman when to open and when to shut her mouth, and get away
with it.
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A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to the hotel
that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly
realized that he had forgotten to get his false teeth. Turning
to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth."
The man said, "No problem." With that he reached
into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth.
"Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too
loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another
pair...try these." The speaker tried them and responded,
"Too tight." The man was not taken back at all.
He then said, "I have one more pair...try them."
The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that
he ate his meal and gave his address.
After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over
to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank
you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been
looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm
not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."
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A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends
with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend
starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes
them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother,
"Thanks for the peanuts." She says, "Yeah,
since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off
'em."
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What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?
Fill me in when you get back.
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What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque
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After a difficult day seeing patients, most of whom had been
children, the dentist's biggest challenge had been getting
those little mouths to stay open. To his delight, his last
patient was an adult. "Welcome," he told her as
he began the examination. "It's so nice to work on someone
with a big mouth."
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Dentists can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half
for an appointment, and they say, "I wish you'd come
to me sooner."
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"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt
and then having him catch his hand in the drill." --
Johnny Carson
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a
whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
-- Steven Wright
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A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered
that he had a cavity that would have to be filled.
"Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what
kind of filling would you like for that tooth?"
"Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.
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